Some of you may remember an alternate Pokemon fic that was
posted some time ago, entitled "Girlemon."  The premise
was... well, that everybody's gender was reversed, basically.
	-This- thing is what I first envisioned upon reading the
title... and since I seem to have a case of writers' block, I actually
wrote it as a diversion.  So now I can inflict it on the rest of
you. :p


	"I choose you, Pikachu!"

	With the requisite flash of light, a green-haired girl in a
tiger-skin bikini appeared.  "Darling," she protested, "My name is

	"Uh... oh, yeah.  I don't know where my mind was," the boy
replied, barely ducking a vicious swipe of a razor-sharp blade.

	"And I don't see why I have to stay in that ball.  It's so
cramped that--"

	"Uh, Lum?  Can we talk about this after I'm out of mortal
danger?" he asked, ducking and twisting and weaving like a drunken
hyperactive ferret.  The blade had yet to connect, but he really
didn't feel the need to press his luck.  Not on this front, anyway.
"Now would be a real good time to use your Thundersh--"

	She was ahead of him.  "Divine Retribution!"

	Zortch.  Crash, crackle.  Sizzle.  Thud.

	"--ock attack.  Thanks."

	Lum folded her arms.  "Darling," she said, looking down at the
unconscious form with a scowl that foretold unpleasant consequences
for -someone-, "Who is this girl?  And how did she come to start
fighting you?"

	"Uh, gee... I really have no idea." the boy answered in his
most innocent fashion.  That is, not very.


	Slightly earlier...

	This looked like a likely place, the boy decided, stopping
before a restaurant.  And if not, well... he was sort of hungry in
the usual sense, too, anyway.  He walked in.

	"Welcome.  Can I get you anything?"

	One look at the girl behind the counter who had greeted him,
and he knew he had something.  Slowly, so as not to startle her, he
retrieved his electronic black book, flipping it open.  "Ukyou
Kuonji," he read, nodding to himself.  Another intra-Takahashi
crossover.... but at least she was a babe!  Suddenly, he frowned.
"Hmm... that's strange." 

	"What's that, hon?"

	He looked solemnly at her.  At her chest, to be precise.
"According to this, your bust should be bigger."

	She turned a most fascinating shade of red, he noted.
"Pervert!" she yelled, grabbing the biggest spatula he had ever seen
and taking a swipe at him.

	He ducked beneath it, leaned forward across the counter,
grasped her high collar, and pulled it slightly outward, affording him
the opportunity to peer at her chest.  "Aha, they're bound.  What a
travesty.  You should set them free."

	He'd thought she was angry before.  Now he discovered that she
had been going easy on him.  The next slash was easily twice as fast;
he barely manages to step back out of range, and the spatula's blade
actually cut across the front of his shirt.  "Ack!  Man, talk about
touchy.  All I mean is, you're not -really- flat-chested, so why...
yikes!  ...Uh oh."

	His instinct told him he was in a Very Bad Situation, and that
it was about to get Worse.  Being a creature of instinct, he listened.
His hand snatched at the sphere attached to his belt as he tried to
summon help...


	"...Nope, not a clue," he reaffirmed.  "Maybe she thought my
tip was too small?"

	"Darling... you weren't... -flirting- with her...?"  Lum's
voice carried the tone he had learned to identify with Grave Danger.

	So it was with great relief that he, quite honestly, answered,
"No, no flirting at all!"  She didn't look particularly convinced, but
she let the matter lie.  "Now, what shall we do with her...?  Oh,
good, an empty one."  He held up a second sphere, identical to the one
which had produced the alien beauty.  A moment later, he dropped it on
Ukyou's prone, scorched form, which promptly disappeared, somehow,
into the tiny device.  "Man," he reflected aloud, "Whoever invented
these things is a genius!"

	"Darling," Lum asked, in the tone one shade beyond Grave
Danger, "Why did you do that?"

	"I have 151 of these things, right?" he said.  Lum nodded, and
he finished triumphantly, "If I fill them all with beautiful women,
I'll have my own portable harem!"

	Then his brain caught up with his mouth.  Uh oh, it thought.

	Lum growled.  "I knew it!  Divine Ret--"

	In a flash of ruby light, the oni vanished, returning to her
sphere once again.  "A true genius," Ataru repeated.  A lecherous grin
spread across his features once again as he considered the
possibilities, once...  He nodded, newly resolute, and thrust one fist
up to the heavens.

	"Yeah!  I've just gotta catch 'em all!"